In 2000 a family squabble in Washington State made national headlines. A young woman and her husband had two small children. Tragically, the father committed suicide. When the mother remarried, she decided that her former parents-in-law were interfering with the establishment of the new home by visiting the children too often. She therefore asked them to limit their visits to one weekend per month. Dissatisfied with this arrangement, the grandparents filed a lawsuit.

       The case went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, which ruled that as long as the parents were fit they had the right to determine who would visit their children, and when. Everything settled, right? Not exactly. The grandparents were distraught over the Supreme Court’s decision. They were now to see their grandchildren only one afternoon a month. But that wasn’t the worst of it. The parents, who had spent $100,000 on legal fees, expected the grandparents to help pay. What a perfect recipe for unending resentment and alienation!

       This miserable business illustrates the wisdom of God’s instruction in the creation narrative. After describing how the Lord formed Eve and presented her to Adam, Moses concluded: “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). When two people marry, they are to establish an independent new home. Blurring or violating the boundaries of this new unit produces stress that may either break it apart or damage any closely-connected family relationship.

       The failure to respect these necessary boundaries is common. The groom may weaken his new home by asking his father for financial assistance. The bride may be guilty of carrying every little complaint to her mother. Or the parents of either spouse may interfere by popping in uninvited, making demands, or giving unwanted advice.