By David Wright
Allyson, a Christian girl, meets handsome Drew. They fall in love and get married. Drew promises before the wedding that he will attend church regularly, but five years have now passed. Drew has never obeyed the Gospel, and he only visits the worship services on special occasions. Allyson has resorted to arguing, manipulation, and pleading. But Drew is offended and angered by any overt attempt to win him to Christ. What should she do?
Peter acknowledges that teaching a husband or reasoning with him may be an ineffective way to bring about conversion. “Likewise you wives,” he writes, “be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior” (1 Pet. 3:1-2). In other words, the noble character of a Christian woman is more attractive to an unbelieving husband than the firm pressure of endless verbal appeals.
That winsome character means virtue. Peter says that a woman's “beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight (1 Pet. 3:3-4, NIV). Is he implying that women must never wear clothes or jewelry? Of course not! Peter is simply teaching that external beauty alone fails to make a woman attractive to her husband. If she is arrogant, loud-mouthed, selfish, or disrespectful, her hypocritical conduct will push the unbelieving husband away.
Appealing character also means submissiveness. “So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands,” Peter says, “as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” (1 Pet. 3:5-6). This biblical teaching drives feminists crazy. They tell women to be powerful, assertive, and, well, masculine. It's great advice--if a woman is looking for a shortcut to the divorce court. But if she wants to strengthen her marriage and win her husband to the Lord, Peter's advice works far better.
